Invictus

Amazed.  That's the only word I can come up with to describe my reaction to grace.  And words are not sufficient.  How can words describe the impact that the Grace of Jesus Christ has on my life?  It's heavy, weighty, overwhelming to think that God would love me like that.  And when I'm broken, that's when He does His real heart-work.  In my brokenness, the unbreakable God of the universe performs another miracle on my obliterated-sinful heart.  He makes all things new.  He sustains me.  His mercies are new every morning and His grace always rains down and reigns in my life.

Amazed.  Why would God choose to do His kingdom work through people?  But I'm honored, and motivated to give Him my heart, and to let Him make it clean daily; to give Him my faith and let Him mend it daily; to give Him my life to live for Him daily.  Our God is invincible.  Our God is unconquerable.  Our God is Amazing...just like His grace.

I heard this song this morning (Invictus by Brave Saint Saturn)  and I will conclude this post with a few lyrics from it, that sum up how I'm feeling today:

You part the shadows,
Light of the World.
Destroy the blindness
Peace Eternal.

Take this broken heart,
if it brings You praise,
Take this beaten soul,
shivering hands I will raise.

Hope Unstoppable,
Sing the morning sun,
Wake up oh sleeper,
the Daylight has come.

Read more: Brave Saint Saturn - Invictus Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Aching for Heaven

The idea of turning 30 later this year is starting to sink in as reality. Thirty is not old, but it has caused me to look down the barrel of my own mortality. And the longer I live, the longer I see pain and the more loved ones I see pass away....some tragic, some a relief because of chronic pain through the years. What I have gained through witnessing first hand the fragility if life, is an aching and a longing for heaven.

"To live is Christ and to die is gain ," the apostle Paul once penned.  The gain of eternity with Jesus...where there is no more pain, no more dying, no more tears...will be an amazing happy ever after. Life on earth is a reminder that the best is yet to come and that their will be a wonderful reunion in heaven with those who we lost here on earth.

So the meantime; I will love intentionally and will love with reckless abandon. I will play on the carpet with my kids more, complain less and go out if my way to serve the least I these. Jesus will call me home when it is time, but until then, I will bring more of my heavenly home to earth by loving like Christ first loved me.

The Balloon That Got Away

My sweet 3-year old daughter Chloe has forever linked losing people and loved ones to losing a balloon.  In fact she mourns the loss of a balloon far greater than the loss of a loved one.  In the last year, the poor girl has seen mommy and daddy crying quite often.  It was a tough year losing two grandparents and Rachel's father.  I've learned a lot about loss and how to mourn over the last 10 months or so, but Chloe has taught me even more.

Tonight her Valentine balloon got away, but to fully understand what happen next, I have to explain her relationship with balloons.  She loves them; nothing else comes close.  When she sees a new balloon floating at the end of a long elegant string, her heart is elated.  She loves that balloon even when it quits floating and is restricted to an existence of crawling along the ground.  Long passed the normal life span of a balloon, Chloe still treasures it...if we would let her, she would add it to a backpack and never let it get thrown away.

If a balloon pops, or heaven forbid, floats away...her little heart is overwhelmed with grief.  She weeps over her lost balloon.  It's sweet, but heartbreaking.

Chloe got a Valentine's Day Balloon from my dad and she treasured it.  It came with us in the car everywhere we went.  It went on our errands today and it went to my parents house tonight when we went over.  But unfortunately, as we were putting her in the car to go home, something severed the string as we were putting it in the car, and the red heart balloon with flowers on it floated away.  It started low and rose steadily until the heart shaped balloon disappeared against the black backdrop.  Chloe looked up just in time to see it disappear.  She was crush.  She wailed and cried all the way home.  And when she got home she retold the tale to Rachel's mom, weeping with fresh tears as she relayed the tragedy.

Of course we will get her a new balloon, of course we will make it right, but for Chloe a balloon is a very special thing.  It represents life, whimsy, joy, and love: the things of God that are instilled in us as His image-bearers.  And when a balloon bursts....that joy is gone just as quickly as it arrived on this planet.  When a balloon floats away, it leaves, long before we were ready for it to depart, but much the it existed...it departs....whimsically, beautifully with an ebb and flow as it drifts into the sky and to the heavens.

Life is fragile like a balloon.  We never know when it might burst or float away, but like Chloe has taught me with balloons, life is meant to be enjoyed.  It is meant to be lived to the full.  Jesus came that we may have life, and have it to the full; rich, abundant life.  And the enjoyment that comes from living a purpose-filled life in awe of the Grace of our Awesome God, is whimsical, joyful, loving.  It's a gift:  to be enjoyed and cherished while it is here. 

My little girl has taught me to be more intentional with this one life I have:  to love more, to pause and take it all in more often, to be intentional with conversations and moments.  Full life can only be lived if you fully live...so I plan to do that for my God and Savior.